I promise at some point soon I will make a post regarding my DTS Outreach. But not today. Today I have something a little different to share.
I attended a beautiful funeral service today for a teacher of mine from high school, Matt Stefan, who passed away quite suddenly a week ago in his early 40's. My sophomore year of high school, he fueled in me a passion for apologetics, for a practical defense of my faith. My faith is as solid as it is today largely because of his influence, and I thank God for placing him in my life at the time that He did.
During the sermon, the pastor brought up the age old question: "Why? Why him? Why now? Why, why WHY???" We don't understand, because it doesn't make sense. During times of grief, people always feel deep down in their gut when something like this happens is an overwhelming sense of, "It wasn't supposed to be this way. This wasn't supposed to happen!" There's a feeling that the circumstances occurring are fundamentally wrong, in a way that runs deeper than just our own sadness.
That feeling is spot on. It wasn't supposed to be that way. God hand crafted every molecule of the universe, and positioned them just so, to work in perfect orchestra with one another. In His original plan there was never any death involved. No death, no pain, no wrong. Only the opportunity for wrong, or rather, free will. Which Adam and Eve took "advantage" of, starting a pattern that would be carried out by everyone, forever, until the end of time.
One of the things that bothered me at the funeral, and in other times in my life when someone dies, was people who would say, "God just wanted him back, so He took him home early" or some equivalent sentiment. But that doesn't sound like the God I know. The God I know has a view of events on Earth that transcends time. He knows every single conceivable turn of events, and always allows/creates the timeline where both of two things happen: 1. He gets the most glory possible and 2. We, his children, are blessed the most.
In regards to Matt, I do NOT think God "took him home early" or that "It was just his time". I think what happened is what the doctors said, he was killed by an unforeseeable brain aneurysm. I think he died because sin is shitty and it has worked it's way into every facet of this universe. I think his death grieves Jesus just as much, nay, MORE than it grieves us, because He hears the cries of the THOUSANDS of lives who are grieving the loss of a husband, a father, a friend, a teacher, a coach, a colleague, a mentor, an inspiration.
But I think God allowed it, not because "He just couldn't wait for him to come home to heaven" as some people said (because that implies that God just isn't as enthused about all the rest of us who are still sadly alive), but because in His infinite wisdom, He saw all the possible outcomes that we can't possibly imagine, and saw that this would someone be a net positive for His glory and for the benefit of us here on earth.
In times like this, I find hope in my unshakable belief that we live in the best possible reality where sin has a hold on it. Some might be uncomfortable with that idea. "You mean to say, our world, where the Holocaust happened, where millions of children are starving to death, where rape and murder and all forms of violence happen every day, where Matt Stefan was suddenly wrenched from our lives, is the most perfect universe possible? That those things were somehow better than any of the alternatives?!?"
That's exactly what I mean to say. Sin is a result of our free will, which in God's eyes, is an absolutely pivotal part of our creation. Without free will we cannot love God back. Love requires choice. So to God, our inevitable betrayal (because we are less than perfect, somewhere down the line someone was guaranteed to fall short) was worth it. When you start to think about the crazy potential sin has for destruction, it's a miracle in itself that humanity still exists at all!
There can be no perfect universe where less than perfect beings have the freedom to do as they choose. Our free will, our freedom to choose to sin, means that there was never a chance at a world without travesty. So armed with that knowledge, and also armed with the knowledge that our all powerful, all knowing God hates our suffering, what other option is there but to believe that we live the best universe possible? A universe where every event is the best possible outcome, given the sin-addled circumstances? If we don't believe that, it means that God really doesn't care enough to use His power to save us.
That really puts things in perspective, doesn't it? Does it remove my grief? No, not at all. I still mourn for the children that must go on without their father, for the widow who must go on without her husband. I mourn for the students who must go on with one less teacher. I still mourn for the fact that I must face this life with one less mentor, one less inspiration, one less friend.
But it does give me a new hope in the midst of it. It reminds me that God is far bigger than the circumstances surrounding us. It reminds me that no matter how uncertain the future, I can move forward knowing that the best possible circumstances will unfold. No, things aren't supposed to be this way, but they could be infinitely worse. And I think Matt Stefan reveled in the knowledge that through him, God was doing far greater things than he could possibly imagine.
Besides, we Christians believe in a God that brings dead people back to life. We don't have to fear death. We spit in death's face. The worst it can do expedite our eternal reunion with our loved ones and our Creator. Nothing can take away our hope.
Death is on the the beginning of everything we're longing for. So go forward in confidence.
"My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." - Psalm 118:50
God's Blessings,
Chris
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